The Best Of GT- PlantGenix | A healthier and higher quality alternative to plant based supplements, containing the most important ingredients for a healthy body and mind.
The stress of the day is just about to hit you. You’re making new friends, you’re partying in the city, and you’re taking the time to relax. You’re not going to smoke that last joint before bedtime are you? Nope, you’re going to save it for another time. What will the next morning involve? You might be tempted to use some of the liquid CBD extract that you got from your friend, but why would you when you could just use some of the Gummy Candy from the dispensary?If the last northern storm in March didn’t delay my flight, I’ll already be in California, living the life of the Golden State. But I didn’t want you to get bored next week, my dear little mogwai, so here’s the first part of the Best of GT clip show so you don’t get bored while I watch Whales on Edibles. How many more comments like this do I have to write? Eight? Oh, boy. Okay, let’s get started. This is probably my favorite review I’ve ever written. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to replicate the manic tone of my first foray into the apocalyptic survival genre. You will see that it is much more political than what I am writing now. Like everyone else, I was swept up in the madness of the 2006 election and frankly, I still feel like going on the occasional tirade. However, I have to respect that literally every corner of comedy is regularly ranting about Trump, so I decided to make GT a safe place to laugh and find the weed you’re looking for, dammit. But I am seriously considering using the newsletter for a weekly rant, which will no doubt be political from time to time. Please sign up. Racists, fascists and narcissists, oh my! After years of hearing right-wing complaints about Emperor Obama and his executive orders, the new puppet government has issued a torrent of controversial and conservative executive orders. But it’s okay now, you’re the boss, right? Hypocritical. And with majorities in both houses and the ability to elect a new judge, it’s really totally unnecessary. And alternative facts. Are you serious? This country is up 25 percentage points in less than seven days on the Orwellian chart I keep in my room under the mini ball basket! Compared to these guys, Vin Diesel’s team looks like they deliver Chinese food on yellow mopeds with Hello Kitty stickers. So the Dakota pipeline is renewed, the Affordable Care Act is repealed, and of course the infamous, clumsily implemented Muslim ban had to be imposed without any thought or strategy because of a credible terror threat. I’m sure Kiefer Sutherland called the children’s vendors in Comet Ping Pong. Even former President Obama has spoken out, essentially calling the new administration a bunch of liars. Let me rephrase that. Can’t we make Armageddon start in the winter? It’s really cold outside, and I hate the cold. At least give me time to get used to my new status as a civil lawyer practicing WARNING law, before I’m forced to go squatting with a motley crew in the ramshackle remains of crumbling downtown office buildings, paranoid group of lunatics, one of whom is probably the Mole, and I’ll prove it’s you, Scooter, because no adult would let themselves be called that, so you’re clearly a Farking Sintoid sympathizer, in 10 degree weather. Is it really that important? Or, no, it can’t be, because the Pope’s stolen blood has already been used in a hellish ritual that weakens the subatomic connections between Earth and the ethereal world, and it’s too late to stop anything now? So, uh… It’s very hard for me to concentrate as I prepare for the impending collapse of civilization and such. It’s not going to happen. This week, to keep the gentleman on his toes, I used a very tasty resin pressed from the flowers of Jack’s Cleaner by the local technicians at Plantgenix. The Jack Herer strain, named after a famous cannabis activist, and its descendants are quickly climbing up my list of other hits (favorite strains, of course!). Like the young Anakin, he tends towards the dark side, but we don’t need to make three terrible movies about that, because it’s cannabis, and a little darkness is okay. It is easy to work with and has a slight pine scent. The taste really stands out here. A spicy blend of lemon and pine. The combination of these terpenes creates a calming, invigorating energy that allows me to focus my attention on the things I have control over, rather than the mental insanity that makes your lordship feel like some Lovecraftian protagonist who compulsively flees to a dark crypt of eldritch horror every time he opens the front page of CNN. I was very impressed with the pure, rich flavor of this Plantgenix press. I definitely recommend them the next time they host a dub bar at one of the cannabusiness events in the county, and follow them on Instagram to see when it happens, gee. Keep an eye on me, and I’ll let you know as soon as the demonic cyborg death squads are unleashed. Farewell, fellow citizens. The password is Kasabian.
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